Sunday, September 11, 2011

Remembering a lesson from 9/11


I woke up to the radio host reporting that an airplane had just crashed into the pentagon. I got up quickly and went out into my living room to watch the news and saw the second plane hit the World Trade Center. Then I saw the twin towers crash to the ground killing thousands of people. It was a horrific sight. The rest of the day was surreal. Although I had no personal connections with what had happened on 9/11, I remember feeling pain for my fellow citizens and for my country. Everyone in the country felt it. There are so many terribly sad stories from that day. There are so many who lost precious loved ones so quickly and so unexpectedly.

And to their honor, there were so many lessons learned that day.

Although, I have not personally experienced the death of a parent, spouse, or child, I have recently been around several who have and I have shared, in a very small way, their pain and suffering.

It seems that 9/11 and personal losses cause us to think about life more reverently. These sorts of events may even lead us to question the purpose of our lives and this questioning usually has one of two effects—either these events and the accompanying thoughts and feelings cause us to turn to someone or something or turn away from someone or something. Neither of these responses is inherently better; rather, what matters is what or who we are turning to or away from.

For example, following the loss of a close loved one, some people turn to God for answers or comfort that they cannot obtain elsewhere while some people turn away from God because of the lack of answers or comfort that they experience. Personal losses also may cause us to turn to family and friends for support and love or they may cause us to turn away from family and friends out of fear and insecurity. Some people turn to alcohol or drugs for relief from their despair.

So what is the lesson learned?

Hug your children.

Hold your spouse's hand.

Call your mother.

In moments of personal despair, fear, or confusion caused by the loss of a loved one or any other traumatic or life changing event, it is always wise and safe to turn to good relationships or worthwhile activities and turn away from destructive people or addictions. The choice is yours as to what you turn to or from, but make sure that what you are turning to is worth a life. Make sure that what you are turning to is in line with your meaning or purpose to life. You could ask yourself, “Would the one I lost approve or disapprove of what I am turning to or turning from?” 9/11 and the loss of loved ones has taught me that life is precious and that I need to be turning to positive relationships and away from destructive ones. I hope that you can experience the same.