Podcasts Galore

Hear the experts...

Assembled by the thoughtful therapists here at Glanton House is a list of a few podcasts from around the web covering a variety of topics that might be interesting to you!

From Ted Talks (via Shauna): What can parents learn from their children?

From AAMFT (via Aubrey): Stop fighting over finances!

From the CDC (via Allen): Keep your kids moving!

From TIME (via Allen): Cancer drugs, marriage, and spanking (all in one)

We hope you all enjoy the wealth of information that these podcasts provide.

Helping Kids Talk About Feelings

Helping kids talk about feelings!

In this podcast, Dr Ellen Abell of Auburn University discusses her work with young children and gives pointers on how parents can help their own kids talk about and express emotions constructively.

Your Own Worst Enemy

Emotions are important, and as therapists, we’re expected to want to know, “How do you feel about that?” However, feelings don’t arrive all by themselves. They are interconnected with our thoughts and our behaviors, too.

Our thoughts are particularly powerful. Thoughts can be uplifting, or they can be poison. I am sure this is true for men as well, but over and over again I hear the poisonous thoughts that women think about themselves. Whether it is a client or a friend, women bully themselves constantly. Thoughts like “I’m not good enough”, “I’m too fat”, or “No man will ever love me” are all too common. Things that we would never allow others to say to us, we tell ourselves everyday. We are so hypercritical of ourselves, and the big kicker is most of these powerful thoughts aren’t even true!

These negative thoughts don’t just cloud our heads from seeing the beauty within, but they actually make us feel terrible. When we think negative things about ourselves, we can feel sad, angry, ashamed, or anxious. If we think positive thoughts, we can feel happy, peaceful, grateful, or content. Think about this: you can receive one of two cards from a friend. One is filled with criticism and disrespect. The other is filled with praise and encouragement. Depending on the card you receive, your feelings could be very different. So why are we constantly giving ourselves the card full of mean remarks? Our thoughts play a role in how we feel, and one way to make ourselves feel better is to start changing the way we think.

Our thoughts also influence our behaviors. Have you ever heard of a self-fulfilling prophecy? This is when we think something will happen and thus create a situation where this prediction can come true. When we think badly about ourselves, we act in a way that reflects our negative view. We behave in ways that confirm our thoughts that we’re not good enough or no one will like us. These negative thoughts also influence the way that we interact with others, making healthy relationships with others a challenge.

What are the thoughts you are telling yourself? We all do it. Take note of what negative thoughts you are thinking and how they influence your emotions and behaviors. Then you need to challenge those thoughts and replace them with positive ones. Be kind to yourself. Apply the “Golden Rule” of treating others the way you want to be treated to the way in which you treat yourself. Of course, this isn’t an easy task. If your thoughts are overwhelmingly negative, you may need to seek additional help from a therapist to challenge and change your self-talk. Don't be your own worst enemy---now is the time to start being your own best friend.

- Shauna

What do we learn from our Siblings? A fun video...

The Colbert Report
Get More: Colbert Report Full Episodes,Political Humor & Satire Blog,Video Archive

Remembering a lesson from 9/11

I woke up to the radio host reporting that an airplane had just crashed into the pentagon. I got up quickly and went out into my living room to watch the news and saw the second plane hit the World Trade Center. Then I saw the twin towers crash to the ground killing thousands of people. It was a horrific sight. The rest of the day was surreal. Although I had no personal connections with what had happened on 9/11, I remember feeling pain for my fellow citizens and for my country. Everyone in the country felt it. There are so many terribly sad stories from that day. There are so many who lost precious loved ones so quickly and so unexpectedly.

And to their honor, there were so many lessons learned that day.

Although, I have not personally experienced the death of a parent, spouse, or child, I have recently been around several who have and I have shared, in a very small way, their pain and suffering.

It seems that 9/11 and personal losses cause us to think about life more reverently. These sorts of events may even lead us to question the purpose of our lives and this questioning usually has one of two effects—either these events and the accompanying thoughts and feelings cause us to turn to someone or something or turn away from someone or something. Neither of these responses is inherently better; rather, what matters is what or who we are turning to or away from.

For example, following the loss of a close loved one, some people turn to God for answers or comfort that they cannot obtain elsewhere while some people turn away from God because of the lack of answers or comfort that they experience. Personal losses also may cause us to turn to family and friends for support and love or they may cause us to turn away from family and friends out of fear and insecurity. Some people turn to alcohol or drugs for relief from their despair.

So what is the lesson learned?

Hug your children.

Hold your spouse's hand.

Call your mother.

In moments of personal despair, fear, or confusion caused by the loss of a loved one or any other traumatic or life changing event, it is always wise and safe to turn to good relationships or worthwhile activities and turn away from destructive people or addictions. The choice is yours as to what you turn to or from, but make sure that what you are turning to is worth a life. Make sure that what you are turning to is in line with your meaning or purpose to life. You could ask yourself, “Would the one I lost approve or disapprove of what I am turning to or turning from?” 9/11 and the loss of loved ones has taught me that life is precious and that I need to be turning to positive relationships and away from destructive ones. I hope that you can experience the same.

  

http://www.cnn.com/2011/OPINION/09/06/granderson.life.lesson/index.html

Back to School!

As the new school year kicks off, an opportunity arises to create new goals and routines for the whole family, conveying your parental expectations and deepening your family connection.

Goals are actionable, achievable, and specific: If your child was a “C” student last year, “getting 100% on every assignment” is probably too big of a leap to expect. Instead, work with your child to set a reasonable goal that they are invested in achieving. Something like “turning in every assignment complete” or “improving grades in 3 subjects this semester” will point toward more specific actions your child can take to achieve the goal.

Routines are self-reinforcing activities that happen regularly (every day or week). If it takes asking your child 5 times to get off the video game before he comes to supper, that is the routine that is established in your household. Creating new routines is hard, especially when it involves the impulsivity and self-focus of kids. However, if parents can be firm and creative in establishing “how things go” day-to-day, healthier, more efficient routines can emerge. It takes 21 days to establish a new habit- Don’t give up!

Expectations are how you convey to your kids what you want them to do and how you want them to behave. Be clear and positive when conveying expectations. Instead of “don’t goof off in class,” try “I want you to pay attention when the teacher is talking.” Instead of “don’t sit in front of the TV so much,” try “I want you to finish your homework and play outside before supper.” If kids are told exactly what you want them to do, there’s less ammo for whining and hair-splitting arguments about behavior.

Connection is the mutual love and support showed by a family. Staying connected to your kids through daily conversations about their life will assure them that you care about their day-to-day choices and feelings. According to the Adolescent Substance Abuse Knowledge Base, parental involvement is associated with lower rates of teen drug use. Connection will also encourage open communication from all family members. Perhaps if your kid has a question about how to act or what to do, she will turn to you instead of a peer as a result of a family connection.

As your family decides how they want this school year to go, keep in mind these 3 steps for intentionality:

1. Plan for things rather than reacting to them.
2. If you don’t like something, fix it right away.
3. If after a concerted effort you can’t fix it, seek help.

Happy Back-to-School!

In-Laws: Can't live with 'em; can't live without 'em

Maybe the reason shows like this are so popular is that most of us can relate, on some level, to the level of angst caused by close contact with the in-laws. Let's face it: most of us weren't hoping to gain a circle of overbearing, annoying, or strange new family members when we got married. But because every family is different, even the most well-matched in-laws can be difficult to love at times. This can be stressful, and can cause tension in your relationship with your spouse. Here are a few tips to help you keep sane during your next family reunion or get-together this summer:

--Take potentially offensive comments with a grain of salt. If something hurtful is said, try giving your in-laws the benefit of the doubt. For example, a woman who feels hurt by the constant slew of parenting advice from her mother-in-law might say something like, "That's a good idea. I'll take that into consideration."

--Try to focus first on the relationship you have with your spouse. The two of you should be a team, and you should be able to discuss your needs with each other. One partner may need some time to be away from the extended family for a few hours during the family vacation. Talking about those needs together and trying to understand the other person can go a long way.

--If your in-laws are repeatedly doing something that is hurtful to you, perhaps you should consider addressing it directly with them. Discuss this with your spouse, and devise a plan to do this together.

--Keep a perspective on who these people are. If nothing else, you can be grateful for the positive things your spouse has inherited from them. You might try treating them the way you would like your spouse to treat your parents.

Try putting some of these tips into practice next time you are with your in-laws. We hope you are having a great summer!

--Cammie