tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14741660124836650462024-02-19T23:34:26.035-08:00Therapeutic ThoughtsGet to know your friendly neighborhood therapists! We are Intern Marriage and Family Therapists at Auburn University in Auburn, Alabama. Come back for monthly posts or subscribe to our email feed! (on right hand side of page)Cammie Smithhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00889985445009763923noreply@blogger.comBlogger16125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1474166012483665046.post-17596471294171366232012-07-27T08:33:00.001-07:002012-07-27T08:34:28.987-07:00Help! Crying baby!<br />
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<img src="http://www.kcconfidential.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/07/Crying+Baby+Natural+High+for+Some+Moms.jpg" style="background-color: white;" /></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;">Do I let my baby “cry it
out?” </span></b><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"> You’re tired. Your baby is crying. You might
be wondering, do I have to do something about it every time? Aren’t we supposed to let babies “cry it out”
sometimes? Here is what we really know about a baby’s cries: <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;">Crying
is a tool. </span></b><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;">In fact,
it is the only tool that your baby has to signal that she needs something from
you. She does not yet have the ability to soothe herself or take care of
herself. Crying is unpleasant to adults so we can be motivated to do something
about it! <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-indent: .5in;">
<b><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;">What we
do about it matters. </span></b><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;">From the
moment your baby is born, he begins to form expectations about the world. He
can learn that the world is a <b><i>safe, predictable</i></b> environment where
growth and exploration is possible. He can also learn that the world is <b><i>scary
and out of control</i></b>. Do parents have the power to influence this
learning process? Yes!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<b><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;">Soothing a crying baby. </span></b><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;">When their cries are ignored, babies do not
learn that they have any control over their feelings. On the other hand, a
consistent response teaches babies that they have some way of helping
themselves feel better (getting you to respond). Your baby will learn best if
you respond every time to her cries, no matter what time of day it is (see
helpful link below). Eventually, your baby will learn to soothe herself. Here
are some tips:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Symbol;">·<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt; line-height: normal;">
</span></span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;">Give the
baby a warm bath.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Symbol;">·<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt; line-height: normal;">
</span></span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;">Go for a
walk or ride with the baby to get some fresh air.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Symbol;">·<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt; line-height: normal;">
</span></span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;">For more
tips, go to: <a href="http://goo.gl/LKeKi">http://goo.gl/LKeKi</a><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"> One last thing – <i>don’t worry</i> if you have missed your
baby’s cries in the past. A few bad experiences will not hurt her. Rather, the
day in, day out experience of your care will be what helps her learn to trust
you. By the end of the first year of life, your baby will be finding ways to
help soothe herself. At this point, you will have taught her important ways to calm
herself down and regulate herself – a key characteristic of healthy people.<o:p></o:p></span></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1474166012483665046.post-62089713012480903572012-07-14T19:09:00.002-07:002012-07-14T19:09:48.604-07:00To Listen is to Care<!--[if !mso]>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgigRmsebF3VW3kOWXQI04cIB2CbVAP1JsdZyns_L4DJq18g3Rew51oBDyKM353_P51CJbzzi2maQm7Lrw_VOOJw580nu07nbxaygqfL8dBab3DRui1WtVu5PWuroNhrNYIKFwWvpEK0As/s1600/blog.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgigRmsebF3VW3kOWXQI04cIB2CbVAP1JsdZyns_L4DJq18g3Rew51oBDyKM353_P51CJbzzi2maQm7Lrw_VOOJw580nu07nbxaygqfL8dBab3DRui1WtVu5PWuroNhrNYIKFwWvpEK0As/s1600/blog.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">to listen: to give attention with the ear</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Palatino Linotype","serif"; font-size: 21pt; font-variant: small-caps; line-height: 115%;"></span><span style="font-family: "Palatino Linotype","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">To listen has been defined as giving attention with the ear. In relationships, however, listening
involves more than just the ear. Real listening means to really care about what
the other person is saying. Genuine listening is an important part of strong
relationships. Spouses, parents, and children all need to feel heard in order
to feel loved.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>To listen is to care.</span><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Palatino Linotype","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: "Courier New"; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;"></span></b></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Palatino Linotype","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: "Courier New";">How often do you really listen? How often
to you really feel that someone is listening to you? </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Palatino Linotype","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: "Courier New"; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">I recently met
with a mom and her son who were having some problems. The mom was always tired
and stressed and the son would always get in trouble at school and at home.
Both felt mad at the other. As I was talking with the mom about her son, we
realized that she doesn’t ever really listen to what he says to her. At the
same time, we realized that the son doesn’t ever really listen to what his mom
says to him. Neither of them feel like talking because the other person doesn’t
listen!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There may be many things that
prevent us from listening (busyness, I pods), but the main cause is that we
probably do not feel heard ourselves. It is very hard to listen when we feel
like others don’t listen to us. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Palatino Linotype","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: "Courier New"; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">But you can
break the cycle.</span></i></b><span style="font-family: "Palatino Linotype","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: "Courier New"; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;"> Although it may be really hard, try to take an extra minute and
really listen and care about what someone is telling you. You will be amazed at
how good it feels. And as you listen more, people will listen to you.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Palatino Linotype","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: "Courier New";">To listen is to care.</span><span style="font-family: "Palatino Linotype","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: "Courier New"; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;"></span></div>Cammie Smithhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00889985445009763923noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1474166012483665046.post-36343054887470126382012-05-01T08:25:00.000-07:002012-05-02T20:25:07.473-07:00Healthy Relationships: Dating Violence<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgTBCGdiq6jvrBI8VwFLYs6MfbbmD5ve51iEJvrFL6a_IicG9Pb0UrqHmF6OVaqSrwgPAXgq4bnOFP5zSwFWtQznUsQDIDnknYMXLdJVwUtmu-QEII47xohGZOUl9kuXmCRWIwZKPp2QNQJ/s1600/coolest-dating-site-2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="228" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgTBCGdiq6jvrBI8VwFLYs6MfbbmD5ve51iEJvrFL6a_IicG9Pb0UrqHmF6OVaqSrwgPAXgq4bnOFP5zSwFWtQznUsQDIDnknYMXLdJVwUtmu-QEII47xohGZOUl9kuXmCRWIwZKPp2QNQJ/s320/coolest-dating-site-2.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Whether you are a teenager or an adult, relationships can become unhealthy quickly. This podcast includes stories and warning signs of teenage dating violence. If you suspect you, a family member, or friend are in an unhealthy relationship, physically violent or not, get the help you need. If you live in the Auburn area, visit www.mftcenter.auburn.edu or call (334) 844-4478 for an appointment with a therapist. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><a href="http://www.stayteen.org/sites/default/files/podcast-dating-violence.mp3">Stay Teen Podcast</a></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Be happy and healthy,</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Shauna</span>Shaunahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12008637487403197981noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1474166012483665046.post-75275816775612320552012-04-26T06:06:00.001-07:002012-04-26T06:06:33.760-07:00Friend Request<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiGbguNje-Duvm6DbL6JDeBVdEisH-saUiNEe3OFyW9i81yCzoj9lf0Aks2W-A9u8XlLPFO3zH3xTLewN1bBl6AsrveSDrCGBxYu7FziIX745UgMVt3Mk0IpcKmozkEN9hlR96BqCYlKAji/s1600/fr.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiGbguNje-Duvm6DbL6JDeBVdEisH-saUiNEe3OFyW9i81yCzoj9lf0Aks2W-A9u8XlLPFO3zH3xTLewN1bBl6AsrveSDrCGBxYu7FziIX745UgMVt3Mk0IpcKmozkEN9hlR96BqCYlKAji/s1600/fr.jpg" /></a></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
Over and over again, research tells
us that social support is important.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Without friends and family to be there for you, life can be
depressing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Personally, I know
that without my loved ones, I would be in big trouble.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But is it any kind of social support
that will do? Or does quality matter more than quantity?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
In the facebook era, we have lots
of quantity.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My last facebook post
had 9 likes and 6 comments.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Look
at all that social support coming my way! There are at least 15 people who care
about my well-being.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But is that
enough to really give me all the benefits of social support?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m not so sure.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
I don’t want to bash facebook,
because I do think it helps people get connected and stay in touch.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>However, I believe it is the <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">quality</i> of friendships that provides the
most fulfillment rather than the amount of surface friends one has.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>With technology today, we can provide
the illusion of friendship without the substance.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You have a cardboard cutout of a friend to sit beside you,
but they really have no idea what is going on in your life beyond what you post
on your wall.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It is the same
information that the kid from your 8<sup>th</sup> grade science class knows as
well, but it gives your friend the affirmation that they are still involved in
your life.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Facebook and twitter
are much easier than phone calls and visits, and I know I often fall into the
trap of going to what is easier rather than what is meaningful.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
This leads me to the question, what
is a real friend?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I think this is
different for every person.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I know
someone is a true friend when I can trust them, depend on them, and open up to
them without worrying about their judgment.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They are someone who is interested in what is going on in my
life, someone who let’s me know that they care, and someone who brings joy into
my life—and that I am the same to them, as well. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I know I am not doing my best job at supporting my friend
when I am too busy or exhausted to pick up the phone.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I know there are many friendships that I am neglecting, but
really do value. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
Are you stuck in a virtual
friendship?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Are you finding that
you know more about your friend from her facebook page than from her face?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sherry Turkle gives a fresh perspective
on the influence of technology on relationships in her TED talk at <a href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html">http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html</a>.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m suggesting a new friend request—not
on a social media site, but time spent together lifting each other’s
spirits.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Friends are about
connection, so increase the quality of your connection through encouraging
words or a fun time together.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It
may take more work or be inconvenient with your schedule, but the opportunity
to connect, to support, and to have fun will bring benefits to your mental and
physical health in the long run!</div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Shauna</div>
<!--EndFragment-->Shaunahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12008637487403197981noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1474166012483665046.post-7646872819483584292012-04-14T08:20:00.001-07:002012-04-14T08:20:30.286-07:00Hearts & Hammers: Episode 1: You First<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="344" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/wOsHe8YUqM4?fs=1" width="459"></iframe><br />
<br />
We all feel vulnerable sometimes in relationships. This little cartoon short is funny yet poignant, I think. Why do we sometimes hold back from our partners? At times, do we become angry and hurtful towards our loved ones? Underlying feelings of insecurity, pain, and fear can cause us to act in ways that actually harm our relationships, despite our best wishes. <br />
<div><br />
</div><div>Call the Auburn University Marriage and Family Therapy Center today for an appointment. One of our therapists can help get you and your partner back on track.</div>Cammie Smithhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00889985445009763923noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1474166012483665046.post-85206829689358825072012-04-09T12:07:00.001-07:002012-04-09T12:07:10.014-07:00Don’t forget to take care of YOU!<w:sdt contentlocked="t" id="89512093" sdtgroup="t"><span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 1.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><w:sdtpr></w:sdtpr><w:sdt docpart="601824E05F744372AABD3AF30D844DB2" id="89512082" storeitemid="X_AB427EEF-BE44-44D8-A9E7-B76EF788175F" text="t" title="Post Title" xpath="/ns0:BlogPostInfo/ns0:PostTitle"></w:sdt></span>
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<h2>
<img src="http://blog.kosherdietplans.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/03/self-care.jpg" />
</h2>
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People often seek marriage / family therapy because there is
something troubling them about their current relationship situation. Whether it
is an unfaithful partner, a willful child, or intrusive in-laws (or ALL of the
above), one thing is certain: it hurts us. All of these situations count as
stressors. What happens when we get stressed out? We get sick! Numerous studies
have pointed toward a link between relationship quality and physical health. But
how is this possible?</div>
<div class="underline">
<br /></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
One way that this happens is through the continual
activation of our body’s stress-response system – namely, the HPA
(Hypothalamic-Pituitary Adrenal) Axis. The HPA Axis is what regulates the release
of the hormone cortisol. Cortisol helps mobilize energy in the body for a situation that
may be challenging. This sounds like a good thing, right? One casualty during
this process, however, is the immune system. When the HPA Axis is chronically
in overdrive due to the amount of stress we experience, our immune system
becomes chronically suppressed. Low immune system, more sickness. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So, what do we do about this? Certainly, seeking family
therapy is definitely one helpful component in reducing stress. However, it
might be easy to forget that it is just as necessary to take care of our own
bodies during this process. Stress is not just psychological – it is
physiological, too. Therefore, we need to take care to ensure that our bodies
are not falling to pieces when we get stressed out. Take a walk. Instead of the
donut at breakfast, take the banana. Get a massage after work (or on your lunch
break!) – research suggests that massages can help reduce cortisol levels.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
All in all, don’t forget that whatever relationship problem
you might be experiencing, you’re always doing yourself a favor by giving yourself
some special care.<o:p></o:p></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1474166012483665046.post-22798245746714863832012-03-19T07:52:00.000-07:002012-03-19T07:52:15.559-07:00What Does Every Person Need?<br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p>By: Allen </o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiIN0K4eMxyMjrpRCgjb7SjM6LpLbKWLT2qlLM3Yf1ixj4LudsbS3D1duowqqg-KA9WvaFRnHu-WnLpP3RAeKTXkXL5v2a1Jpgio5ybf3LWsyWZA8HEAWb8ANZHfvjGsqxy8p-fxcudUrQ/s1600/lonely-old-man1.jpg" /> </o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Just as we need food, water, and shelter to survive, people
need to be connected to other people. Did you know that orphans in Romania have
died from a lack of human interaction and connection even after being given
food and water sufficient to survive? Did you know that people will die if left
all alone? Luckily, very few people in the world are completely alone. But many
people do suffer from loneliness. Perhaps because loneliness can occur even
when people are physically close by. And it seems odd that with the rise and
popularity of social media, that people would seem to feel more connected than
ever before. However, receiving a text or a wall post doesn’t quite feel the
same as talking with a good friend face to face. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Loneliness is probably one of the worst feelings in the
world. It makes people more prone to both sickness and suicide. Loneliness can
be felt in a close relationship if one person doesn’t feel understood.
Loneliness can be felt by a “popular” kid at school. It can be felt by an older
adult who doesn’t feel appreciated for all they contributed to the world. Loneliness
is unfortunately rampant all around us, probably more so than one might imagine
because people do not like to admit that they feel lonely. Or they may not even
realize it as they try to find easy replacements (e.g., video games, drugs).<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So, then what are the most important things people can do
for other people? First, be there. And listen. Second, recognize what people
are going through. Think to yourself, “What is this person experiencing?” Be
empathic. If you were in their place, what might you be feeling or thinking?
And third, tell them. This will allow people to feel connected and avoid
loneliness.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
What about this idea for parents? Parents, instead of
telling children that they shouldn’t be sad or hurt or tired, say something
like “I bet it’s really hard when your brother calls you a bad name. That would
make me sad too.” That way, your child will feel that you really care about
them and will be more willing to listen to corrective guidance when it is
needed.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
To feel connected to others. This is what every person
needs.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1474166012483665046.post-15419847997238960462012-02-27T16:44:00.006-08:002012-02-27T17:45:42.675-08:00This year for Lent...<div><br /><div><br /><div><br /><div> Many of us (myself included) like to use new calendar years or religious observances to flex and test our willpower. It might seem silly that we need a special season to make changes in our lives that we've previously contemplated and not undertaken. But the fact that we're willing to try at all should be applauded. </div><div> There are a few tried and true ways of handling problems that everyone uses to differing degrees: Avoid the problem, Extreme measures, and Incremental goal pursuit. (This isn't an exhaustive list, just some of the most common.) Each strategy has its benefits and its downfalls. Avoiding means you don't have to deal with a problem, <em>now</em>. But if it is a persistent stress or downfall, chances are ignoring it won't make it go away. Extreme measures work well for people who are highly motivated and willing to sacrifice comfort in the name of results. However, many of us regular Joes burn out after going to "the extreme" for too long. Incremental goal pursuit builds slowly and steadily toward a desired end. Some people may not have the patience to endure a slow change in this fashion.</div><div> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhrh94rtUpZh2vewvK4ROtlrgTwDedkZ50uuDcIJLsrT6nXznK2XrbIIfqHenIzVvoVzUNnIo7OarYhU3CzZkOYdzSCcUq2nEB4JMv4e-El7-MN95GwzVnmwQ7heGO3wydDaMc4FXOQc8Fl/s1600/couple+fighting.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px 10px 10px 0px; width: 275px; height: 183px; float: left; cursor: pointer;" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5713985741155024082" border="0" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhrh94rtUpZh2vewvK4ROtlrgTwDedkZ50uuDcIJLsrT6nXznK2XrbIIfqHenIzVvoVzUNnIo7OarYhU3CzZkOYdzSCcUq2nEB4JMv4e-El7-MN95GwzVnmwQ7heGO3wydDaMc4FXOQc8Fl/s320/couple+fighting.jpg" /></a> The important thing is knowing how you are most likely to change. And if this change is meant for a lifetime rather than 40 days, it is important to know how you are going to maintain the change. Change in relationships is doubly difficult because there are two people who will experience that change and two people who will affect its speed, trajectory, and permanence. Perhaps then best understanding how you are most likely to change <em>and </em>how your partner is most likely to change is the first step.</div><div> </div><div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjunEMm_irhoO7TAlC2y_sgFFl7IKtx8fbNCpIbtYDtY412c_0d-DVlqTT621MAgrIC9-O9YXH3KFzQSbbu7xYHsUZ0p9FPO4dX4eRvrY6Vgs96G2CAaHQ0dutisBbMQDs8egWHtOZZYwCa/s1600/running+motivation.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px 0px 10px 10px; width: 259px; height: 194px; float: right; cursor: pointer;" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5713987310592401154" border="0" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjunEMm_irhoO7TAlC2y_sgFFl7IKtx8fbNCpIbtYDtY412c_0d-DVlqTT621MAgrIC9-O9YXH3KFzQSbbu7xYHsUZ0p9FPO4dX4eRvrY6Vgs96G2CAaHQ0dutisBbMQDs8egWHtOZZYwCa/s320/running+motivation.jpg" /></a></div><div> </div><div> Then comes the eternal battle between motivation and excuses. Motivation is born of discomfort. If you become dissatisfied enough, your motivation for change will skyrocket. Excuses are clever ways of getting ourselves off the hook for failing to take the steps needed for change. Sometimes motivation is hard to find because while you may not be happy now, the possible heartache, pain, or exhaustion that could possibly result from actually putting forth effort seem quite daunting. The discomfort you know seems better than the discomfort you don't. </div><div> </div><div> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg1LHkSrJQ9Qh1upxbeeozn1srAYtECX0KGumu5n5XBM2XxBO3UGxlZJnkSsgXX1FwB1svuYSdeAZ6_UyIbS5fgPtrp-5zurFThyEf54pVglpQsQYu8skHT0hcm_Jmyx2pDjjMPMTGqJODL/s1600/facebook+phone.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px 10px 10px 0px; width: 167px; height: 302px; float: left; cursor: pointer;" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5713989330482565858" border="0" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg1LHkSrJQ9Qh1upxbeeozn1srAYtECX0KGumu5n5XBM2XxBO3UGxlZJnkSsgXX1FwB1svuYSdeAZ6_UyIbS5fgPtrp-5zurFThyEf54pVglpQsQYu8skHT0hcm_Jmyx2pDjjMPMTGqJODL/s320/facebook+phone.jpg" /></a></div><div> Then sometimes the discomfort you don't know is motivation enough. You hear about a friend's car accident from looking down at her phone while driving and decide that texts can wait until the car's off. A couple you've known forever breaks up after no visible signs of distress and you begin to evaluate your contribution your own relationship. Your aunt is diagnosed with Type 2 diabetes and you take a walk around the block. It would be a wonderful world if we never had to learn from mistakes, but since that isn't the world we live in, we can be grateful that we still have opportunities to change.</div><div> </div><div> But sometimes the change we need isn't 40 days without chocolate. Sometimes we look at our lives and don't realize how we got where we are, and we don't much like it. Sometimes we find that the most important person in the world to us is also the one who makes us feel terrible. Our discomfort crosses a threshold from bearable to punishing. Then it's time for a change. A life or relationship change of this order is not lightly undertaken. The help of a therapist can be crucial during these transition periods. Or better yet, why not use a therapist's expertise before the problem is overwhelming? Perhaps if a problem is addressed before it's an "issue," it won't require as monumental an effort to change. If extreme is your style, don't wait until you're "extremely" pissed off to attempt to change. Try a more incremental approach, handling small and medium sized problems one at a time. Because chances are, no matter how long you avoid it, the problem will still be waiting for you.<img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; width: 252px; height: 200px; text-align: center; display: block; cursor: pointer;" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5713994956234059442" border="0" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgpRbpZRWn9avEAkFF3VeBXEhmVuUydfOFYVROuw0IcE3qoBvwK6TWwnl8NmoKQugHwUVvX9X0TB7RlImgODJhoHvTg8W480NKiAHC-hnwv8cb363uTbf5dGAH9MHfcu6Cf4ze2Zh30iBCs/s320/avoid.jpg" /></div></div></div></div>Aubreyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12069959695350625534noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1474166012483665046.post-89652196605623755692012-02-13T07:49:00.000-08:002012-02-13T07:56:51.365-08:00Bullying PodcastBullying has been the subject of much interest due to national news coverage. Many parents feel unsure of how to best help their children cope with this problem. Check out <a href="http://www.extension.org/pages/30841/bullying-webinar">this podcast</a> by Auburn University researcher, Stephen Erath.Cammie Smithhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00889985445009763923noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1474166012483665046.post-29347142438589318862011-12-05T13:02:00.001-08:002011-12-05T13:09:01.205-08:00Podcasts Galore<span style="font-size: x-large;"><b>Hear the experts...</b></span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEipLzpPc5fe6BYRjMkOTNWmHh2ITwEJsbRWsq-Q5xQUlMvda4uZOCFKPdFCQSlSDO8lcrlRpinu2jppwL6_vdL6W4QxwLdpzZ4NEK7Ci6AKzTg91JsMI9TG13G99gTwxraEjhjci3PfB74/s1600/the-var-guy-podcast.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEipLzpPc5fe6BYRjMkOTNWmHh2ITwEJsbRWsq-Q5xQUlMvda4uZOCFKPdFCQSlSDO8lcrlRpinu2jppwL6_vdL6W4QxwLdpzZ4NEK7Ci6AKzTg91JsMI9TG13G99gTwxraEjhjci3PfB74/s1600/the-var-guy-podcast.gif" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
Assembled by the thoughtful therapists here at Glanton House is a list of a few podcasts from around the web covering a variety of topics that might be interesting to you!<br />
<br />
From Ted Talks (via Shauna): <a href="http://video.ted.com/talk/podcast/2010/None/AdoraSvitak_2010.mp3" target="_blank">What can parents learn from their children?</a><br />
<br />
From AAMFT (via Aubrey): <a href="http://newsmanager.commpartners.com/aamft/issues/2011-10-13/2.html" target="_blank">Stop fighting over finances! </a><br />
<br />
From the CDC (via Allen): <a href="http://www2c.cdc.gov/podcasts/player.asp?f=7478325" target="_blank">Keep your kids moving!</a><br />
<br />
From TIME (via Allen): <a href="http://healthland.time.com/2011/07/01/the-healthland-podcast-we-debate-avastin-marriage-and-spanking/" target="_blank">Cancer drugs, marriage, and spanking (all in one)</a> <br />
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We hope you all enjoy the wealth of information that these podcasts provide.<br />
<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1474166012483665046.post-70888784358128471482011-10-20T13:27:00.000-07:002011-10-21T06:27:41.601-07:00Helping Kids Talk About Feelings<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Helping kids talk about feelings!</span></div>
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<a href="http://edushop.edu4kids.com/images//products/CD_3250.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="296" src="http://edushop.edu4kids.com/images//products/CD_3250.gif" width="320" /></a></div>
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In this <a href="http://www.box.net/shared/te9rcu4gl5kzgr5dbmk6">podcast</a>, Dr Ellen Abell of Auburn University discusses her work with young children and gives pointers on how parents can help their own kids talk about and express emotions constructively.</div>
<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1474166012483665046.post-50762944962248595692011-10-16T11:14:00.000-07:002011-10-16T11:34:48.561-07:00Your Own Worst Enemy<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj-i5FH2rWEVVkMHiASRmNG_2-IjKKKeVDWlOxmXiy10GCpEKGqWrnQspXyMOquIbZ7xXzL5615MpqJqPJX0WlfGeOEwCD-ntMwy50z0fWsZDAGHd9xLDztjOdBtqE-VYRJ42hw8Xd2Z9KU/s1600/woman+with+thought+bubble.JPG" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 214px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj-i5FH2rWEVVkMHiASRmNG_2-IjKKKeVDWlOxmXiy10GCpEKGqWrnQspXyMOquIbZ7xXzL5615MpqJqPJX0WlfGeOEwCD-ntMwy50z0fWsZDAGHd9xLDztjOdBtqE-VYRJ42hw8Xd2Z9KU/s320/woman+with+thought+bubble.JPG" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5664159875651499362" /></a><br /> <!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <o:documentproperties> <o:template>Normal.dotm</o:Template> <o:revision>0</o:Revision> <o:totaltime>0</o:TotalTime> <o:pages>1</o:Pages> <o:words>378</o:Words> <o:characters>2159</o:Characters> <o:company>Auburn University</o:Company> <o:lines>17</o:Lines> <o:paragraphs>4</o:Paragraphs> <o:characterswithspaces>2651</o:CharactersWithSpaces> <o:version>12.0</o:Version> </o:DocumentProperties> <o:officedocumentsettings> <o:allowpng/> </o:OfficeDocumentSettings> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:worddocument> <w:zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:trackmoves>false</w:TrackMoves> <w:trackformatting/> <w:punctuationkerning/> <w:drawinggridhorizontalspacing>18 pt</w:DrawingGridHorizontalSpacing> <w:drawinggridverticalspacing>18 pt</w:DrawingGridVerticalSpacing> <w:displayhorizontaldrawinggridevery>0</w:DisplayHorizontalDrawingGridEvery> <w:displayverticaldrawinggridevery>0</w:DisplayVerticalDrawingGridEvery> <w:validateagainstschemas/> <w:saveifxmlinvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:ignoremixedcontent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:alwaysshowplaceholdertext>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:compatibility> <w:breakwrappedtables/> <w:dontgrowautofit/> <w:dontautofitconstrainedtables/> <w:dontvertalignintxbx/> </w:Compatibility> </w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:latentstyles deflockedstate="false" latentstylecount="276"> </w:LatentStyles> </xml><![endif]--> <!--[if gte mso 10]> <style> /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-font-family:Cambria; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family:Cambria; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;} </style> <![endif]--> <!--StartFragment--> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent:.5in"><br /></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent:.5in">Emotions are important, and as therapists, we’re expected to want to know, “How do you <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal">feel </i>about that?”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>However, feelings don’t arrive all by themselves.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>They are interconnected with our thoughts and our behaviors, too.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent:.5in">Our thoughts are particularly powerful.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>Thoughts can be uplifting, or they can be poison.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>I am sure this is true for men as well, but over and over again I hear the poisonous thoughts that women think about themselves.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>Whether it is a client or a friend, women bully themselves constantly.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>Thoughts like “I’m not good enough”, “I’m too fat”, or “No man will ever love me” are all too common.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>Things that we would never allow others to say to us, we tell ourselves everyday.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>We are so hypercritical of ourselves, and the big kicker is most of these powerful thoughts aren’t even true! <span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent:.5in">These negative thoughts don’t just cloud our heads from seeing the beauty within, but they actually make us feel terrible.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>When we think negative things about ourselves, we can feel sad, angry, ashamed, or anxious.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>If we think positive thoughts, we can feel happy, peaceful, grateful, or content.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>Think about this: you can receive one of two cards from a friend.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>One is filled with criticism and disrespect.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>The other is filled with praise and encouragement. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>Depending on the card you receive, your feelings could be very different.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>So why are we constantly giving ourselves the card full of mean remarks?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>Our thoughts play a role in how we feel, and one way to make ourselves feel better is to start changing the way we think. </p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent:.5in">Our thoughts also influence our behaviors.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>Have you ever heard of a self-fulfilling prophecy? <span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>This is when we think something will happen and thus create a situation where this prediction can come true.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>When we think badly about ourselves, we act in a way that reflects our negative view.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>We behave in ways that confirm our thoughts that we’re not good enough or no one will like us.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>These negative thoughts also influence the way that we interact with others, making healthy relationships with others a challenge. </p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent:.5in">What are the thoughts you are telling yourself?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> We all do it. </span>Take note of what negative thoughts you are thinking and how they influence your emotions and behaviors.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>Then you need to challenge those thoughts and replace them with positive ones.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>Be kind to yourself.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>Apply the “Golden Rule” of treating others the way you want to be treated to the way in which you treat yourself.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>Of course, this isn’t an easy task.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>If your thoughts are overwhelmingly negative, you may need to seek additional help from a therapist to challenge and change your self-talk.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> Don't be your own worst enemy---now is the time to start being your own best friend.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent:.5in"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes">- Shauna</span></p> <!--EndFragment-->Shaunahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12008637487403197981noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1474166012483665046.post-20475942487763381772011-09-29T19:03:00.000-07:002011-09-29T19:03:45.777-07:00What do we learn from our Siblings? A fun video...<div style="background-color:#000000;width:368px;"><div style="padding:4px;"><embed src="http://media.mtvnservices.com/mgid:cms:item:comedycentral.com:397494" width="360" height="293" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowFullScreen="true" allowScriptAccess="always" base="." flashVars=""></embed><p style="text-align:left;background-color:#FFFFFF;padding:4px;margin-top:4px;margin-bottom:0px;font-family:Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;font-size:12px;"><b><a href="http://www.colbertnation.com/the-colbert-report-videos/397494/september-20-2011/jeffrey-kluger">The Colbert Report</a></b><br/>Get More: <a href='http://www.colbertnation.com/full-episodes/'>Colbert Report Full Episodes</a>,<a href='http://www.indecisionforever.com/'>Political Humor & Satire Blog</a>,<a href='http://www.colbertnation.com/video'>Video Archive</a></p></div></div>The Sabeyshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02713201733317843182noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1474166012483665046.post-26109496824115246462011-09-11T05:52:00.000-07:002011-09-11T05:52:48.012-07:00Remembering a lesson from 9/11<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
I woke up to the radio host reporting that an airplane had
just crashed into the pentagon. I got up quickly and went out into my living
room to watch the news and saw the second plane hit the World Trade Center.
Then I saw the twin towers crash to the ground killing thousands of people. It
was a horrific sight. The rest of the day was surreal. Although I had no
personal connections with what had happened on 9/11, I remember feeling pain
for my fellow citizens and for my country. Everyone in the country felt it.
There are so many terribly sad stories from that day. There are so many who
lost precious loved ones so quickly and so unexpectedly.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And to their honor, there were so many lessons learned that
day. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Although, I have not
personally experienced the death of a parent, spouse, or child, I have recently
been around several who have and I have shared, in a very small way, their pain
and suffering.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It seems that 9/11 and personal losses cause us to think
about life more reverently. These sorts of events may even lead us to question
the purpose of our lives and this questioning usually has one of two
effects—either these events and the accompanying thoughts and feelings cause us
to turn to someone or something or turn away from someone or something. Neither
of these responses is inherently better; rather, what matters is what or who we
are turning to or away from.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
For example, following the loss of a close loved one, some
people turn to God for answers or comfort that they cannot obtain elsewhere while
some people turn away from God because of the lack of answers or comfort that
they experience. Personal losses also may cause us to turn to family and
friends for support and love or they may cause us to turn away from family and
friends out of fear and insecurity. Some people turn to alcohol or drugs for
relief from their despair.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So what is the lesson learned? <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
Hug your children.<o:p></o:p><br />
<br />
Hold your spouse's hand.<o:p></o:p><br />
<br />
Call your mother.<o:p></o:p><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
In moments of personal despair, fear, or confusion caused by
the loss of a loved one or any other traumatic or life changing event, it is
always wise and safe to turn to good relationships or worthwhile activities and
turn away from destructive people or addictions. The choice is yours as to what
you turn to or from, but make sure that what you are turning to is worth a
life. Make sure that what you are turning to is in line with your meaning or
purpose to life. You could ask yourself, “Would the one I lost approve or
disapprove of what I am turning to or turning from?” 9/11 and the loss of loved
ones has taught me that life is precious and that I need to be turning to
positive relationships and away from destructive ones. I hope that you can
experience the same.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p> </o:p> </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="http://www.cnn.com/2011/OPINION/09/06/granderson.life.lesson/index.html">http://www.cnn.com/2011/OPINION/09/06/granderson.life.lesson/index.html</a><o:p></o:p></div>
The Sabeyshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02713201733317843182noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1474166012483665046.post-37028811395401377232011-08-26T10:50:00.000-07:002011-08-26T10:53:13.189-07:00Back to School!As the new school year kicks off, an opportunity arises to create new goals and routines for the whole family, conveying your parental expectations and deepening your family connection.
<br />
<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Goals</span> are actionable, achievable, and specific: If your child was a “C” student last year, “getting 100% on every assignment” is probably too big of a leap to expect. Instead, work with your child to set a reasonable goal that they are invested in achieving. Something like “turning in every assignment complete” or “improving grades in 3 subjects this semester” will point toward more specific actions your child can take to achieve the goal.
<br />
<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Routines</span> are self-reinforcing activities that happen regularly (every day or week). If it takes asking your child 5 times to get off the video game before he comes to supper, that is the routine that is established in your household. Creating new routines is hard, especially when it involves the impulsivity and self-focus of kids. However, if parents can be firm and creative in establishing “how things go” day-to-day, healthier, more efficient routines can emerge. It takes 21 days to establish a new habit- Don’t give up!
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<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Expectations</span> are how you convey to your kids what you want them to do and how you want them to behave. Be clear and positive when conveying expectations. Instead of “don’t goof off in class,” try “I want you to pay attention when the teacher is talking.” Instead of “don’t sit in front of the TV so much,” try “I want you to finish your homework and play outside before supper.” If kids are told exactly what you want them to do, there’s less ammo for whining and hair-splitting arguments about behavior.
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<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Connection</span> is the mutual love and support showed by a family. Staying connected to your kids through daily conversations about their life will assure them that you care about their day-to-day choices and feelings. According to the Adolescent Substance Abuse Knowledge Base, parental involvement is associated with lower rates of teen drug use. Connection will also encourage open communication from all family members. Perhaps if your kid has a question about how to act or what to do, she will turn to you instead of a peer as a result of a family connection.
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<br />As your family decides how they want this school year to go, keep in mind these 3 steps for intentionality:
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<br /> 1. Plan for things rather than reacting to them.
<br /> 2. If you don’t like something, fix it right away.
<br /> 3. If after a concerted effort you can’t fix it, seek help.
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<br />Happy Back-to-School! Cammie Smithhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00889985445009763923noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1474166012483665046.post-66686306950567222782011-07-25T19:05:00.000-07:002011-07-26T18:20:30.655-07:00In-Laws: Can't live with 'em; can't live without 'em<iframe width="425" height="349" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/yMuhSKP9Hco" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe><br /><br />Maybe the reason shows like this are so popular is that most of us can relate, on some level, to the level of angst caused by close contact with the in-laws. Let's face it: most of us weren't hoping to gain a circle of overbearing, annoying, or strange new family members when we got married. But because every family is different, even the most well-matched in-laws can be difficult to love at times. This can be stressful, and can cause tension in your relationship with your spouse. Here are a few tips to help you keep sane during your next family reunion or get-together this summer:<br /><br />--Take potentially offensive comments with a grain of salt. If something hurtful is said, try giving your in-laws the benefit of the doubt. For example, a woman who feels hurt by the constant slew of parenting advice from her mother-in-law might say something like, "That's a good idea. I'll take that into consideration." <br /><br />--Try to focus first on the relationship you have with your spouse. The two of you should be a team, and you should be able to discuss your needs with each other. One partner may need some time to be away from the extended family for a few hours during the family vacation. Talking about those needs together and trying to understand the other person can go a long way. <br /><br />--If your in-laws are repeatedly doing something that is hurtful to you, perhaps you should consider addressing it directly with them. Discuss this with your spouse, and devise a plan to do this together.<br /><br />--Keep a perspective on who these people are. If nothing else, you can be grateful for the positive things your spouse has inherited from them. You might try treating them the way you would like your spouse to treat your parents.<br /><br />Try putting some of these tips into practice next time you are with your in-laws. We hope you are having a great summer!<br /><br />--CammieCammie Smithhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00889985445009763923noreply@blogger.com0