People often seek marriage / family therapy because there is
something troubling them about their current relationship situation. Whether it
is an unfaithful partner, a willful child, or intrusive in-laws (or ALL of the
above), one thing is certain: it hurts us. All of these situations count as
stressors. What happens when we get stressed out? We get sick! Numerous studies
have pointed toward a link between relationship quality and physical health. But
how is this possible?
One way that this happens is through the continual
activation of our body’s stress-response system – namely, the HPA
(Hypothalamic-Pituitary Adrenal) Axis. The HPA Axis is what regulates the release
of the hormone cortisol. Cortisol helps mobilize energy in the body for a situation that
may be challenging. This sounds like a good thing, right? One casualty during
this process, however, is the immune system. When the HPA Axis is chronically
in overdrive due to the amount of stress we experience, our immune system
becomes chronically suppressed. Low immune system, more sickness.
So, what do we do about this? Certainly, seeking family
therapy is definitely one helpful component in reducing stress. However, it
might be easy to forget that it is just as necessary to take care of our own
bodies during this process. Stress is not just psychological – it is
physiological, too. Therefore, we need to take care to ensure that our bodies
are not falling to pieces when we get stressed out. Take a walk. Instead of the
donut at breakfast, take the banana. Get a massage after work (or on your lunch
break!) – research suggests that massages can help reduce cortisol levels.
All in all, don’t forget that whatever relationship problem
you might be experiencing, you’re always doing yourself a favor by giving yourself
some special care.
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