Saturday, July 14, 2012

To Listen is to Care



to listen: to give attention with the ear
To listen has been defined as giving attention with the ear. In relationships, however, listening involves more than just the ear. Real listening means to really care about what the other person is saying. Genuine listening is an important part of strong relationships. Spouses, parents, and children all need to feel heard in order to feel loved.  To listen is to care.

How often do you really listen? How often to you really feel that someone is listening to you?

I recently met with a mom and her son who were having some problems. The mom was always tired and stressed and the son would always get in trouble at school and at home. Both felt mad at the other. As I was talking with the mom about her son, we realized that she doesn’t ever really listen to what he says to her. At the same time, we realized that the son doesn’t ever really listen to what his mom says to him. Neither of them feel like talking because the other person doesn’t listen!  There may be many things that prevent us from listening (busyness, I pods), but the main cause is that we probably do not feel heard ourselves. It is very hard to listen when we feel like others don’t listen to us.

But you can break the cycle. Although it may be really hard, try to take an extra minute and really listen and care about what someone is telling you. You will be amazed at how good it feels. And as you listen more, people will listen to you.

To listen is to care.

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