I woke up to the radio host reporting that an airplane had
just crashed into the pentagon. I got up quickly and went out into my living
room to watch the news and saw the second plane hit the World Trade Center.
Then I saw the twin towers crash to the ground killing thousands of people. It
was a horrific sight. The rest of the day was surreal. Although I had no
personal connections with what had happened on 9/11, I remember feeling pain
for my fellow citizens and for my country. Everyone in the country felt it.
There are so many terribly sad stories from that day. There are so many who
lost precious loved ones so quickly and so unexpectedly.
And to their honor, there were so many lessons learned that
day.
Although, I have not
personally experienced the death of a parent, spouse, or child, I have recently
been around several who have and I have shared, in a very small way, their pain
and suffering.
It seems that 9/11 and personal losses cause us to think
about life more reverently. These sorts of events may even lead us to question
the purpose of our lives and this questioning usually has one of two
effects—either these events and the accompanying thoughts and feelings cause us
to turn to someone or something or turn away from someone or something. Neither
of these responses is inherently better; rather, what matters is what or who we
are turning to or away from.
For example, following the loss of a close loved one, some
people turn to God for answers or comfort that they cannot obtain elsewhere while
some people turn away from God because of the lack of answers or comfort that
they experience. Personal losses also may cause us to turn to family and
friends for support and love or they may cause us to turn away from family and
friends out of fear and insecurity. Some people turn to alcohol or drugs for
relief from their despair.
So what is the lesson learned?
Hold your spouse's hand.
Call your mother.
In moments of personal despair, fear, or confusion caused by
the loss of a loved one or any other traumatic or life changing event, it is
always wise and safe to turn to good relationships or worthwhile activities and
turn away from destructive people or addictions. The choice is yours as to what
you turn to or from, but make sure that what you are turning to is worth a
life. Make sure that what you are turning to is in line with your meaning or
purpose to life. You could ask yourself, “Would the one I lost approve or
disapprove of what I am turning to or turning from?” 9/11 and the loss of loved
ones has taught me that life is precious and that I need to be turning to
positive relationships and away from destructive ones. I hope that you can
experience the same.
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