In-Laws: Can't live with 'em; can't live without 'em

Maybe the reason shows like this are so popular is that most of us can relate, on some level, to the level of angst caused by close contact with the in-laws. Let's face it: most of us weren't hoping to gain a circle of overbearing, annoying, or strange new family members when we got married. But because every family is different, even the most well-matched in-laws can be difficult to love at times. This can be stressful, and can cause tension in your relationship with your spouse. Here are a few tips to help you keep sane during your next family reunion or get-together this summer:

--Take potentially offensive comments with a grain of salt. If something hurtful is said, try giving your in-laws the benefit of the doubt. For example, a woman who feels hurt by the constant slew of parenting advice from her mother-in-law might say something like, "That's a good idea. I'll take that into consideration."

--Try to focus first on the relationship you have with your spouse. The two of you should be a team, and you should be able to discuss your needs with each other. One partner may need some time to be away from the extended family for a few hours during the family vacation. Talking about those needs together and trying to understand the other person can go a long way.

--If your in-laws are repeatedly doing something that is hurtful to you, perhaps you should consider addressing it directly with them. Discuss this with your spouse, and devise a plan to do this together.

--Keep a perspective on who these people are. If nothing else, you can be grateful for the positive things your spouse has inherited from them. You might try treating them the way you would like your spouse to treat your parents.

Try putting some of these tips into practice next time you are with your in-laws. We hope you are having a great summer!

--Cammie