Just as we need food, water, and shelter to survive, people
need to be connected to other people. Did you know that orphans in Romania have
died from a lack of human interaction and connection even after being given
food and water sufficient to survive? Did you know that people will die if left
all alone? Luckily, very few people in the world are completely alone. But many
people do suffer from loneliness. Perhaps because loneliness can occur even
when people are physically close by. And it seems odd that with the rise and
popularity of social media, that people would seem to feel more connected than
ever before. However, receiving a text or a wall post doesn’t quite feel the
same as talking with a good friend face to face.
Loneliness is probably one of the worst feelings in the
world. It makes people more prone to both sickness and suicide. Loneliness can
be felt in a close relationship if one person doesn’t feel understood.
Loneliness can be felt by a “popular” kid at school. It can be felt by an older
adult who doesn’t feel appreciated for all they contributed to the world. Loneliness
is unfortunately rampant all around us, probably more so than one might imagine
because people do not like to admit that they feel lonely. Or they may not even
realize it as they try to find easy replacements (e.g., video games, drugs).
So, then what are the most important things people can do
for other people? First, be there. And listen. Second, recognize what people
are going through. Think to yourself, “What is this person experiencing?” Be
empathic. If you were in their place, what might you be feeling or thinking?
And third, tell them. This will allow people to feel connected and avoid
loneliness.
What about this idea for parents? Parents, instead of
telling children that they shouldn’t be sad or hurt or tired, say something
like “I bet it’s really hard when your brother calls you a bad name. That would
make me sad too.” That way, your child will feel that you really care about
them and will be more willing to listen to corrective guidance when it is
needed.
To feel connected to others. This is what every person
needs.
